Sandpaper Moments
with author Martha Metzler
November 2024
Chapter 4 "I'm running out of time" - "Boundaries are not meant to be reactive. They are not meant to lead us to disconnection. Boundaries are meant to protect what is good." She maps out her own exercise of listing her priorities/the "good" in her life worth protecting, as well as listing what was currently on her schedule/things on her plate. Next she describes the hard but necessary process of consolidating work/adjusting her life to better reflect her priorities - and encourages us to engage in this same exercise if we are struggling with lack of boundaries/lack of time. "Just because I have disappointed someone doesn't mean I'm making the wrong decision. This boundary is protecting my heart." "Your time, your heart, your people; they are worthy of being protected."
Chapter 8 "This wasn't what I expected. Now what.?" - "When we release the people in our lives from the expectation for them to be anyone other than who they are, we make space for connecting with them just as they are." (On a personal note, I can't stop thinking about this concept and have found it to be deeply powerful when I reflect on several relationships in my life.) "In its truest form, letting go of expectations is about trust and release of control. It's about having a radical acceptance of things as they are. It's about honoring what is outside of your circle of control and grounding yourself in what is inside your circle of control." When in conflict with someone who's just being themselves, she suggests the mantra - "It's not personal, it's personality."
Martha Metzler
We had a phenomenal meeting with Martha who I am proud to claim is part of this WonderWomen community. Topics covered were vast and included anxiety, uncertainty, overwhelm, over-scheduling, friendship, comparison, burn out, phone attachment ... her book is highly recommended.
Sneak peek into the book... (your very own movie trailer! 😄)
Martha Metzler
Chapter 3 "I'm so overwhelmed" - "My brain can feel like a computer with 25 tabs open." "I am just not able to human today." She discusses how incredibly pervasive it is to feel overwhelmed in today's world. She encourages us to "Ride the wave. Ride the wave of overwhelm." Literally close your eyes and imagine yourself floating on your back and riding the wave, not fighting it. "Optimism is felt, but hope is chosen." "Hope means choosing to believe the overwhelming feeling will pass." "Respond, don't react" (all this makes much more sense with her full description, this is just food for thought!)
There is so much to discuss and reflect on from this powerful read.
Bio: Martha B. Metzler, a licensed psychotherapist, brings over a decade of experience to her private practice in NC. She is a counselor, speaker, member of the Michael Phelps Foundation Advisory Council, and a dedicated advocate for mental health in her community. She loves weaving truth and humor into her ministry of counseling and speaking engagements. Martha lives here in Winston with her husband and three delightful (sometimes feral) boys. She is surrounded by an amazing community of friends who hold the space for vulnerability and an infinite love of all things chips and salsa… extra salt.